Commodus Gadus Snape
by Sara Fade
Summary: It's so refreshing to see Severus in such agony... Too bad this time I share his pain.
1. My Sixth Worst Nightmare

I guess we've established that relatives can be pesky at times. "Pesky" is an understatement when it comes to Commodus Gadus Snape. I am left but to wonder how annoying one can get… My friends and I still laugh about it from time to time.

It all started that night, at three in the morning…

_My Sixth-Worst Nightmare_

I stared at the ceiling, mesmerized by the violent storm outside. This is my favourite type of weather. It reminds me of memories past. It was in one of these overly sentimental periods that I heard the sound that from that night on signalized something… ah, irksome. I heard something break just outside the door to Woodsmanor.

"_Hic_ - _Reparo!_" I heard someone say outside. They were not bothering to keep their voice down, not even in a building teeming with Death Eaters. I waited with baited breath, my wand instinctively raised.

"Hello?" the abysmally foolish person shouted. Throwing caution to the winds, the someone outside grabbed the doorknob and frantically started twisting and turning it. Probably by accident, they opened the double doors.

The person staring bemusedly at me was a pale, scrawny, dark-haired, black-clad, very drunk boy not older than eighteen. His cloak was turned inside-out and his much too large shirt was untucked and overflowing over his much too long trousers. A bolt of lightning thundered in the background as he opened the doors, giving the situation the wrong effect. But there was something fishy about his glinting black eyes…

"What are you looking at?" he shouted at no one in particular. The words barely left his mouth when I threw myself at him, knocking him down. I pointed my wand at his throat.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" I hissed in his ear. I was almost knocked backwards by the unbearable aura of pure homemade vodka protruding from his putrid breath as he breathed. He coughed and colossal flowers erupted from the tip of his wand. The stranger jumped to his feet.

"Commodus Gadus Snape, at your service ma'am!" he yelled, bowing low, "I come here in search of my long-lost cousin, Severus! Care to join me?" he asked someone about twenty feet to my left. He held out his arm, his sleeve hanging hopelessly.

"Severus?" I repeated in disbelief. Commodus swayed on the spot. Abandoning my intentions to kill him, I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him up the stairs. I wound my way through the labyrinthine corridors of the third floor heading for Snape's chamber. He chose this location just to be as far as he could from me. I saw the door of his district at the end of the corridor.

"SEVERUS!" I roared, not even trying to keep my voice down myself. I threw open the door of his bedroom. He woke up with a start.

"Fade! What are you doing here?" he shouted acidly.

"Does _this_," I shook Commodus, "belong to you?"

Commodus stopped mumbling about pretty pink ponies and caught sight of Severus. His face broke into a drunken grin.

"Severus, how wonderful to see you! I lost track of you after you ran away at my sixteenth birthday party! Come, join me, dear cousin, let us once again pursue our adventures in Sunshine World, the land of happiness, joy, and cute, fluffy, pink, bunny-rabbits!"

I dropped Commodus.

"_Sunshine World_?" I mouthed. My expression turned from anger to maniacal glee.

"Don't ask…" Severus muttered, burying his face in his hand, "Commodus, what are you doing here?"

"Why must I repeat myself? I come in hopes of finding you, and, as you can see, I have succeeded!"

He broke free of my renewed grip and started cheering and punching the air, "Yes, I, Commodus, have accomplished my goal! Commodus, Commodus, he is our man! If he can't do it, nobody can! Yeah, everyone loves Commodus, thank you, Amsterdam, good night!" he said as he swept off a non-existent hat and fell unconscious on his cousin's bed.

Severus leapt off his bed, accidentally dragging the sheets off. Commodus spun off the bed and fell in a heap at the edge, his head lolling on the mattress. Apparently, he was too drunk to wake up. He started snoring loudly at once. I watched him for a few seconds, hardly daring to believe it. Another member of the Snape clan. What more could one ask for in a perfect nightmare? Severus looked up at me, the look of disgust still on his face.

"Did I _do_ something to you? Did I _hurt_ you in some way?"

"Yes."

"How did this even happen?" he asked, ignoring my last remark.

"I don't know! He came in and started shouting about his long-lost cousin. Some idiot by the name of Severus."

"I can't believe this! It's like being twenty-four all over again!" he said, smacking his face.

"Come on, Severus, surely you can escape again," I said encouragingly. Snape looked at me in suspicion.

"Where did you go to last time? Sunshine World?" I snickered.

"Why must you do this?" he said, pulling his hair, his hands slipping over the grease, making him all the more anguished.

"And why must I help you? If he irks you so, what have I got to lose? You know me, I would never miss an opportunity like this," I sneered. Snape muttered something about not knowing Commodus. I paid no heed to him.

To this day, I partially regret not helping Severus get rid of his idiotic cousin. By the next morning, I thought Commodus would have recovered and would today be a completely different person. I was sadly mistaken. By seven o'clock, I couldn't wait any longer. I ran up the stairs and snaked my way through the third floor. I ran into Severus outside his door. He was pounding his head against the wall with his eyes closed.

"Have you not made any attempt to get rid of him?" I asked.

"And what use have you been? Weren't you the one that brought him here?" he grumbled darkly.

"No, no, actually--"

"Hold it!" he interrupted me, "You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?" he said, suddenly alert.

"And just why not?"

"You don't know Commodus, you don't know what he's capable of!"

"Well-- Wait a minute, why would you care about me? I may have trusted you in some situations in the past, something that I have been proved wrong in doing many times… Anyway, no, I do not know what he's capable of, and from where I'm standing, it sounds like something good. Now, if you will excuse me," I pushed past him and into the room.

Commodus seemed to have managed to heave himself onto the bed. He looked like some gooey, black liquid spilled on my arch-nemesis's bed. Commodus lay there, happily sucking his thumb. Severus came in after me. I looked at both cousins in turn. I approached his bed to shake Commodus awake, but thought better of it and backed off.

"Would you do the honours?"

Severus glared at me and walked over to Commodus. He took his wand out from the pocket of his robes and pointed it at Commodus. I thought he would poke him awake or something. But, no, Severus aimed at his face and shot a shower of blue sparks up his nose. Commodus sneezed himself awake.

"Hey, what's up, Sev?"

"Er… shall we?" he turned to be and jerked his head towards the door. I followed him out.

"When do we eat? I want breakfast in bed!" Commodus called out as we exited.

"OK. What's up, Sev?" I asked once we were out of earshot.

"Shut up. I don't know what to do to him yet, but--"

"Let's give him a chance. Maybe he'll change."

Snape sighed.

"I told you, he--" he began, "Actually, I kind of want to see what happens…"

"I'm glad you see my side of it. But first we have to report him to the Dark Lord."

"What? 'We'?" he looked at me in bewilderment.

"You're right," I agreed. "Not it!" I said at once.

"Not it!" Severus said a split second after me.

"Damn it!" he cursed. He went inside to get Commodus. They both came out a few minutes later. Commodus looked very strange in Severus's clothes. I figured the clothes he wore last night once belonged to Severus, too. I stifled a fit of laughter at the sight of the pair of them. Commodus looked like he was dissolving under the clothes Severus lent him. I pretended to go downstairs but doubled back when they went to meet the Dark Lord. I tiptoed back and listened intently. I heard the Dark Lord's voice inside.

"YOU WHAT?"

Severus hastily said something.

"What made you think… mumble, mumble… could you not… mumble… rid of him… mumble, mumble, mumble…" I heard the Dark Lord.

"Mumble, mumble… not my idea, my Lord…" Severus began but stopped immediately.

"Leave us."

I ran down the stairs as quietly as I could. I managed to slump into an armchair just as Snape came in and did the same.

"And?" I urged him.

"He's asking him questions as we speak."

"You think he will become a Death Eater?"

"I'd rather die."

"That can be arranged," I said nonchalantly.

He glared at me. The minutes passed in silence, until…

"YEEEEEEES!" A shrill cry pierced the muffled silence. Commodus bounded into the room.

"NOOOOOOO!" A second scream filled my ears, this time coming from Severus.

"What?" Commodus said, confused, "I was celebrating about the cookies…" he pointed to a plate on the table.

"Oh, never mind then," said Severus, greatly relieved as he handed him the plate of chocolate-chip cookies, "I knew I should've poisoned these…" he muttered.

"And?" I said again.

"And what?"

"Did you make it?"

"Make what?" he looked at Severus as if asking for instructions.

"Did you become a Death Eater?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I figured 'why not?', you know," he said through a mouthful of cookies.

"NOOOOOOO!" Severus screamed again, this time more gruffly.

I pulled out my wand and raised my eyebrows enquiringly at him, asking him if he wants the sweet release of death now.

4


	2. What I Didn't Know

_What I Didn't Know_

Severus looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Isn't this cool? Now we get to hang out!" Commodus patted his shoulder.

Severus's second screech seemed to have woken up the whole building. Death Eaters swarmed into the room. Bellatrix was first in the line of the groggy minions of the Dark Lord. At the sight of a stranger, she lifted her wand.

"_Stupefy_!" she shouted.

"_Protego_!" I said in spite of myself. I deflected the curse at the wall. It bounced off a mirror and ricocheted around the room for a good ten seconds until it hit Travers squarely in the chest. Wilkes bent down to revive him.

"Stop," I said abruptly.

"Why? We have to revive him."

"Or, we can do stuff to him," suggested Bellatrix.

"My point, exactly," I said.

"Now who's this?" asked Antonin.

"Yeah, who is this?" said Severus.

"This is Severus's cousin, Commodus," I said, shot a satisfied glance at Severus, "By some _lucky_ chance, he just became a Death Eater," I laughed dryly, "Bella, a word?"

She accompanied me to a far corner of the room.

"So, Snape isn't too happy about this, is he?" she sniggered.

"Just encourage Commodus's behaviour. With a bit of luck, we'll drive Snape insane within a few months."

"Right, I'll spread word," she gave me the thumbs-up, "So tell me more about this cousin of his."

"Well, he came in last night. He was really drunk. He started yelling for Snape. I brought him upstairs with me, and, well, you can imagine. He started talking about his and Severus's adventures in Sunshine World. Then he fell unconscious. You should've seen the look on Severus's face when he saw what I brought with me. Priceless, I tell you, priceless!"

"Well, as much fun as this was bound to be, I have to go upstairs."

"I'll join you."

But what I didn't know…

Severus sat there, immobile, his face buried deep in his palms. The other Death Eaters crouched down around Travers and started stuffing things down his pants. Commodus clutched his head.

"I can't remember anything from last night, he whined, "How did I get here again?"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Severus whispered to the skies.

"Oh, wait, I remember… It's all coming back to me now…" Commodus said after a while.

"Have I not suffered enough?" Severus snarled at the heavens and put his head back in his hands.

Commodus pondered for a while about something, then leaned over to his cousin.

"Hey, Sev," he said.

Severus lifted his head just a few inches.

"Come here," Commodus beckoned him to sit down next to him.

"I'd rather not," said Severus, rather bluntly.

"Fine," said Commodus and sat down next to Severus. Severus rolled his eyes.

"I wanted to ask you about Sara."

"Oh, no…" moaned Severus.

"I think she likes me."

Severus choked on the water he was trying to force down his throat.

"SHE WHAT?" he bellowed. The whole room turned to stare at him. Suddenly self-conscious, he lowered his voice.

"What did you gather that from?"

"Well, the minute I came in, she threw herself on me, _she's_ the one that brought me to you, _she's_ the one that came to see me this morning, _she's_ the one that deflected that seriously unstable woman's curse, _and_ she's happy that I'm a Death Eater. I'm not stupid, you know."

Severus sardonically cleared his throat. He came to his senses just in time.

"She's part vampire," he said at once.

"That's so cool!"

"She's really aggressive."

"Wow, go on."

"She's best friends with that seriously unstable woman."

"I can make my peace with that," Commodus shrugged.

"She… she's… Aaarrrgh, how can you do this to me?" he snapped under the pressure, "I hate her!"

"I've had enough of this! I will live out my life in whatever way I want to! My life doesn't revolve around you!" Commodus snapped back, banging his fist on the couch.

"Then why the hell did you come here?" Severus said, trying to knock some sense into his cousin.

"Oh, come on, she's been really nice to me. Don't you think she deserves someone like me?"

Severus opened his mouth to argue.

"Yes. Indeed she does. OK, Commodus, you do that, you have my blessing."

Commodus leaned over to hug Severus, but he sidled away just in time. Severus went back to the crossword puzzle in the _Daily Prophet_ and started thinking of what the answer to fourteen across was.

Meanwhile…

Bella was telling me about the dream she had.

"And then his eye fell out of its socket and a Fwooper ate it. Then it started singing and--"

"Wait, wait, wait. You mean you've heard a Fwooper sing before? Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Shut up, vampire."

I laughed, taking care to show her my fangs. I helped her clean up a bit before we went back downstairs. We parted at the front door when I said I'd go out for a meal. I flung open one of the doors and breathed in the scent of the damp pine trees surrounding Woodsmanor. I followed the muddy dirt road that lead to the small Muggle village to the north. I did what I set out to do and played a bit with the carcass of a little girl. To make it look like an "accident", I put her in a lying position on some spikes I found nearby. Obscenely licking away a droplet of blood that was creeping its way down my chin, I Apparated back just outside Woodsmanor.

I walked in the common room to find a very large table there, with towering piles of dishes, all empty. I scanned the table and saw a few dozen hungry, grumpy Death Eaters and Commodus leaning backwards on his chair and picking his front teeth. I was shocked to find Wormtail rubbing his stomach and licking his fingers next to him.

"All done!" Commodus said brightly after picking out a piece of toast from between his teeth.

Wormtail, apparently trying to help, Vanished the table, making the dishes fall with a clatter. I strolled past the table casting the Trip Jinx on Wormtail from over my shoulder. He fell in a crumpled heap at Alecto's feet. She giggled and turned away. I went down to the dungeons in search for Fenrir. I heard footsteps behind me and raised my wand at once. Nobody ever came down here except for me, Fenrir, Bella and some other Death Eaters that couldn't come to breakfast. I saw Commodus run after me. I grudgingly lowered my wand as he caught up with me. He leaned against the wall and started talking.

"Hey, your name is Sara, right?" he said.

"Well spotted," I swept past him.

"It's very pretty," he said now jogging to keep up, "And may I say, you look stunning!"

This has happened before when Avery and Nott wanted to ask me if they could have one of my hairs to make some Polyjuice Potion. I thought Mulciber had some nerve to Imperius them into that when I realized they were acting on their own accord.

I stopped walking immediately.

"What do you want?" I asked suspiciously. I'm with Fenrir. That's the first thing someone would find out after becoming a Death Eater. Surely he knew that by now.

"Nothing, of course," he said indistinctly.

"Get to the point," I said sharply.

"Er… I… um…"

"You have anything intelligent to say?"

"Well, I--"

"I thought so."

I left him staring after me until he went back upstairs. I found Fenrir in his room. He was still asleep. I softly closed the door behind me and walked over to his bed and kissed him gently on the lips. He smiled, not opening his eyes.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I missed you," I purred, "I find the lack of someone I can have an intelligent conversation with infuriating," I found myself growling by the time I finished.

"Is Snape at it again?" he said, leaning on his elbows.

"In a manner of speaking…" I said slowly, "I'm surprised we didn't wake you up. The Snapes and I have been yelling at each other since three in the morning."

"The Snapes?"

"Snivelly has a cousin. Commodus."

And so, I told him the story of Commodus and Sunshine World.

"So, let me get this straight," said Fenrir, ticking the nearly impossible off his fingers, "Snape's drunk cousin happens to stop by a top-security, unplottable building full of Death Eaters, starts yelling for Snape, meets the Dark Lord, becomes a Death Eater for no apparent reason, befriends Wormtail, _and_ eats my breakfast?"

"Pretty much."

"I'll just maul on a helpless victim. Tastes like chicken," he picked his teeth, "Coming?"

"No, sorry, I'm full."

"Oh… kay. I'll meet you upstairs in a minute, then," he said before kissing me goodbye. Resisting the temptation to stay with him here for all eternity, I went out into the deserted hall. I always feel oddly lonely when I'm apart from Fenrir, even if he's just one door away. I trudged up the stairs to find Travers in a corner, trying to get the papier-mâché off his pants. Smirking slightly, I started pacing. I've noticed that every time I'm freshly separated from Fenrir, I tend to become awfully irritable. Commodus chose a really bad time to interrupt my brooding. Travers left the room to wash the papier-mâché off his hands, leaving me alone with the smarmy creep called Commodus Snape.

"Hi," Commodus said, winking at me.

"Sod off, Commodus," I said moodily.

"She loves me," Commodus muttered to himself.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, looking at the nails on his left hand. I looked over all the seats in the room in search of a pillow to scream into.

"Why don't you sit here?" Commodus said, rubbing a seat right next to him. There was a pillow there, so I took an unworthy risk. I sat down and banged my head against the back of the sofa. Commodus looked at me in a way that made me want to break his nose into a million tiny pieces. I fixed him with my infamous "you're-a-freak" look. To my surprise, he did not blush and look away. Out of nowhere, he leaned over to me. I quickly backed away, almost lying down on the couch. The "you're-a-freak" look wouldn't help me here. I pointed my wand at his chest but it was no use. I felt like I was going to be sick…

"_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!_"


	3. Misleading Mayhem

_Misleading Mayhem_

"_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!_"

It was Fenrir. Commodus sat up straight, but Fenrir didn't wait for a reply.

"_Reducto_!" he shouted. Never, in all my years had I seen Fenrir this angry. The sheer fury he put into the spell made Commodus fly across the room. He hit the stone wall and slowly slid down, unconscious, a trickle of blood dripping down his forehead and into his lap.

I jumped up as soon as I got a chance. I looked at Commodus's limp form, disgusted. I felt Fenrir's arm wrap itself around my waist and pull me closer to him. I felt a surge of guilt.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

"For what?"

"For leading you into this situation."

"This wasn't your fault. I trust you," he said warmly.

"Thank you…" I said. Fenrir hugged me as a response. I hugged him back. I felt a bit better, but something was missing… my revenge… I still felt slightly guilty for not killing Commodus on the spot.

"Are you OK?" I was brought back to earth by the sound of Fenrir's voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said into his chest. I turned to Commodus and put a jinx on him. He glowed red for a second. I knew it worked. The curse made his bones mix and knit together. We'll see how he likes me with his rib cage-slash-hand in his crotch! I couldn't stand being in the presence of Severus's uncle's reject of a son, so Fenrir and I went for a walk. I ended up keeping him company while he had breakfast. Then, to make me feel better, we viciously attacked a bunch of lost souls that asked us for directions. I was really starting to feel better. We made our way slowly back to Woodsmanor at around two.

"Fenrir, could you do me just one tiny favour?" I said suddenly.

"Sure."

"Let me deal with Commodus."

"Are you going to kill him?"

"I wish I could, but the Dark Lord forbade me," I said sadly.

"He forbade you to kill Severus, not Commodus."

"Er, not exactly. There's a loophole. He used 'Snape' when he ordered me not to kill him. His name is Commodus _Snape_," I said, "I can't use any Unforgivables either. The same rules apply."

"We'll think of something," he said consolingly.

"I owe you for everything you did for me today."

"Aw, no you - yes, you do," he smiled cheekily, but very handsomely so. I couldn't resist kissing him and I didn't bother to. We felt our way into the mansion and took a stroll through the corridors.

Meanwhile…

Commodus lifted his head from the hard wooden floor. Or at least what he thought was his head. His leg gave an involuntary twitch. He tried to push himself up with his hands. His back started to jerk backwards. Commodus gave up all hope of getting up and wailed for help.

"Help!" he cried, "Sev! Help me!"

Severus appeared in the doorway.

"Bellatrix, don't push - Ah, hello, Commodus," he said wearily.

"Sev, help me get up, I can't move."

"Now, see, _that's_ why you were told_ not_ to jump on the couch."

"No, I was hexed. Some guy came in and started yelling at me for being with Sara, he blasted me across the room and knocked me unconscious!" he tried to explain, but sounded more like a small child saying he saw a Yeti in the back yard.

"Wait a minute. Was he about six feet tall, messy light brown hair, and very light brown eyes?" Severus said, fighting to keep his face straight at his cousin's pathetic failure.

"That sounds about right… Why? Do you know him?"

Severus thought he was saved by Bella's entrance.

"Who doesn't?" she said, "That was Fenrir Greyback. Surely you know of him, with your fantastic abilyty of, like, knowing things," she said with a fake bow, "I cower before you, O Great One."

"Lower next time," he said imperiously. Bella bit her bottom lip to stop herself screaming "_Crucio!_", "Why would this Greyback bloke care?"

"He's Sara's boyfriend!" Bella half-shouted, "That's the first thing someone would find out after meeting either of them. What did you do to displease him, Commodus?"

"Well, I -" he said awkwardly.

"You did not!" Bella said, her eyes wide with shock. Commodus looked at her with a failed attempt of my "you're-a-freak" look.

"Oh, sorry, too soon. Go on."

"She was all nervous, so I suggested she sit down next to me. Then I tried to kiss her and her 'boyfriend' went berserk! Then he hexed me. She's just playing hard to get," Commodus said while he tried to cross his arms, but ended up banging his head against the floor.

Bella opened her mouth to say "I wouldn't think so", but Severus gagged her from behind. He unceremoniously threw her out of the room and crouched at his cousin's side.

"That's right. She probably planned it all out. Bellatrix is lying, she barely has anything to do with him. Try it again and this time, you will succeed," he said.

"All right, I'll do it."

Severus nodded and left.

"OI! Undo the hex!" Commodus called after him, but to no avail. After five minutes of shouting after him, "I have to go to the bathroom and your cloak is right next to me" forced Severus to lift the curse.

By which time…

Fenrir and I were talking and laughing in the back yard. Bella came out a side door with her hair in disarray and clutching a stitch in her side.

"Commodus - plotting - diabolical - plan!" she panted.

"What? Calm down. What's going on?"

"Commodus is planning to do it again, whatever he did," she said hysterically.

"How do you know this?" Fenrir asked.

"Heard Severus advising Commodus. Idiots, both of them."

"Didn't you try to tell him to leave me alone and soak his head?" I said, slightly disappointed.

"I tried, but Snape gagged me."

"Which one?"

"The greasier one. Commodus couldn't move. Said something about you hexing him," she pointed at Fenrir.

"Er, I didn't hex him. I just blasted him away from Sara," he said.

"Great, now he's refusing to believe I hexed him," I breathed, pinching the bridge of my nose and shaking my head.

"Hex him again," Bellatrix shrugged, "By the way, what curse did you put on him?"

"Chapter sixteen, _Magick Moste Evile_, right after the one that turns your victim inside-out," I said in one breath.

"Thank you," she said and left.

"Let me deal with him," I said before Fenrir had time to open his mouth, "You've done enough."

"Can I at least watch?"

"Of course," I smiled, "But if you, too, are hell-bent on revenge, you can help."

"Always a pleasure," he said, "Now you'll owe me more," he said happily.

"That's all you live for, eh?" I said looking up at him.

"Well, that's not _all_ I live for… There's also… a bit of this and that…"

"Hah. Hush. That makes me feel special."

"It should," he said and gave me a wonderful kiss. We stayed glued to each other for a long time. Then I grabbed at Fenrir's clothes and made some noises.

"Mm… Mmf – MM – Easy, girl!" said Fenrir.

"What?" I said, confused.

"Your nails," said Fen.

But my nails were doing nothing to hurt him!

"_Stop right there, sirrah!_"yelled a very familiar voice.

It was none other than Commodus Gadus, standing with one arm behind his back, and the other arm holding a conjured fencing sword which now pricked my Fenrir's back.

"See you not that the fair lady is protesting?" demanded Commodus, who seemed to have, in the meantime, conjured a fake moustache to go with his sword.

"COME, Sara! Come in my warm arms!" boomed Commodus, and with power I hadn't detected in him, he cast a spell which made me shoot straight into his free arm.

"You are safe from yonder beast!" he said romantically. Then he gave me a big, somewhat clumsy, kiss on the lips. "More is to come anon!" he promised as he shoved me at the wall. "I shall fight thee, thou scurvy knave!" he said to Fenrir. "But first, fair maiden, would you present me thy kerchief?" he asked me nicely, with a little bow.

"Erm," said I, both baffled and curious. I shoved a hand into my pocket and pulled out a wet paper towel. Commodus took it without hesitation and put it in his breast pocket.

"This be thy last chance to run, foul creature!" said Commodus to the unarmed and bemused Fenrir.

"No," said Fen calmly. "No, I think I'll fight you."

"So be it!" hollered Commodus, brandishing his sword. "Fight me, coward!"

Fenrir stood silent for a second. Then the took his wand out from his pocket and muttered a few words. Next second, there was a heavy battleaxe in his hands. This he brandished above his head and brought down with an almighty crash on the ground. It made a crack on the stone floor which reached Commodus's feet.

Commodus gazed in terror as Fenrir picked up the battleaxe again and approached. His pupils got bigger as the werewolf towered over him and he started to stutter.

"M-M-M-Mummy?" he squeaked.

And with a shrill scream, Commodus Gadus Snape ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction, fake moustache and sword and kerchief and all.


End file.
